She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
