it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
