Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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