I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
