i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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