fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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