If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
