Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
