Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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