Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
