I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
