so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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