yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
