End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
