So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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