gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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