is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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