i think i have two assholes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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