Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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