I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
