I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
