My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
