Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
