So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
this will be a night to untag.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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