When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
