we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
