My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
