We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
