accomplished twins. life is a go
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
