party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
