We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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