i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
