please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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