JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
