the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
