3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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