So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
