He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
