in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
