Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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