He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
