break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
