You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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