Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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