I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
and she was petting her beer can
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
did you just send me my own nude
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
