I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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