YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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