I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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