I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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