I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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