I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
