the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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