Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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